I occasionally rant, ladies and gentlemen, about trivial shit, but today I would like to rant about something very close to my heart. This rant is targeted to my fellow men.
Here's a funny thing that I've come to notice about guys that I know. When they break up with some pretty young gal, most of the men go into a depressive state in which they wallow in regret and sadness. The thought of losing their "luvy-wuvy girlfriend" shattered their reality.

Break-ups are not upsetting because you're not dating [insert her name here] anymore. No, break-ups are upsetting because you've finally come to understand the reality of your situation: Your relationship was starting to suck like crazy, and you were powerless to fix it. Tough. Here is what happened.
1. She was fucking somebody else. (i.e. She didn't love you anymore.)
2. She discovered she was a homosexual. (i.e. She didn't love you anymore.)
3. You weren't paying attention to her needs. (i.e. She didn't love you anymore.)
4. You did ONE THING in particular that pissed her off, and she kept on bringing it up. (i.e. She didn't love you anymore.)
5. You were fucking somebody else. (i.e. She "probably" didn't love you anymore. Either that or you're an asshole. You're dumped either way.)

Oh, but I said "most of the men" in the beginning, didn't I?
Occasionally I know some guys who will use a break-up to their advantage. One man, for example, took the time that he WOULD HAVE spent with his girlfriend, used it to go to the gym and developed a pair of abs that could crack an M1 Abrams. With this new set of abs, he found some hot bitches and fucked their brains out.
This man is a genius, plain and simple! Did his break-up suck? Sure it did! All break-ups suck! But he did not cry on a buddy's shoulder. Instead of moaning and spending a week in a depression, he took out all of his anger on barbells and bitches. That is what needs to be done!

Am I an insensitive fuck? Sure I am! But I've experienced more than my fair share of break-ups. If you want to express any form of regret or guilt, don't sulk in your room and listen to shitty Coldplay CDs. Instead, head over to a pal's place, grab a beer, and make use of your freedom by being a bit sociable. Or better yet, head over to those parties that you always had to drag your girlfriend along to prove you weren't cheating on her with a slightly better-looking girl. NOW you are more than capable of approaching the aforementioned better-looking girl and making your move, you lucky son of a bitch.

And if you were already fucking that girl before you broke up, all the more power to you!

And whose to say you can't follow the "girl strategy" after a break up? What's wrong with calling over a few pals to your place, consuming a few buckets of ice cream and watching some shitty action flicks? You don't need to cry, but feel free to angrily unload all of the complaints you might have had about the bitch who stole 2-6 years of your life.

And you can always look on the bright side. Now you are free to say all of the mean things you've wanted to say with her since the first day you met her. "Oh, I might be too stupid to remember your birthday [insert her name here], but your vagina still looks like burnt ham!"

The point I am trying to make is this, gentlemen:
Break-ups do suck. Yes they do. But they are simply another of life's many challenges. Do you want to fail the challenge by being a big emo-pussy, or do you want to grab life by the balls and make it your bitch?
I leave the decision to you.